Is my child too busy?

How many of you are exhausted from “running around” between work, home, dance classes, soccer, appointments and errands, going out with your spouse or friends? Rest assured, you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed, having trouble balancing work, family and friends, and feeling like there aren’t enough 24 hours in the day…

Children, too, are sometimes exhausted by the hectic schedules we impose on them, leaving them at daycare or school from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m., enrolling them in sports or cultural activities, accepting almost every invitation to friends’ parties, or planning their vacations from A to Z. Doing nothing is seen as a waste of time, and children are often helpless when faced with a period of free time, not knowing what to do to fill the void.

Most of the time, we impose these hectic schedules on ourselves because of society’s expectations of us. Have you ever wondered: What will my friends think if we don’t go on vacation this year? What will my child’s teacher think if I don’t sign him or her up for an after-school activity? What will the other parents think if I don’t accept their invitation to a friend’s party, even though I already have 3 planned this month?

To enable children to blossom and develop their full potential, while giving them moments of respite, it’s essential to make choices based on their needs and interests, while respecting our own limits and not what those around us might think of us.

To do this, we must first learn, as parents, to let go of our guilt when we say “no”, stop comparing ourselves to others and not panic if our child hasn’t tried 22 activities before kindergarten. In short, we have to listen to our bodies and our heads. When you’re exhausted, your child probably is too.

Here are a few tips for planning a healthy agenda for the whole family:

• Make time to play with your children.
• When you’re on vacation, ask your children what they’d like to do. Maybe they’d like to stay at home and relax.
• Choose sports or cultural activities that won’t take up too many hours of your time each week.
• If you have several children, try to match their activities. Ideally, both activities should take place in the same place at the same time.
• Suggest different activities to your child that match your criteria and let them make their own choices.
• Make time for yourself. The kids do activities, so why not choose one for yourself too.
• Keep in mind that children also learn, develop and blossom when they spend quality time with family and friends.
• Take time out with your partner to do things you enjoy and talk about your day. Raising children is important, but you can’t forget about each other as a couple.
• Respect the sleep needs of the whole family. If you find that your child is sleep-deprived due to the timing of family activities, you may want to reconsider your choice of activities.

The hectic schedules we impose on our families can have an impact on our children’s physical and mental health, as well as on their behavior. It’s not at all necessary for your child to have a minister’s schedule for those around you to perceive you as good parents.

Having quality time also means having the leisure to take your time.